aish-de-la-lune asked: Thank you. For everything you do as a project. I've been on both sides, having battled depression and anxiety myself and now working with people who suffer from poor mental health (I hate the terminology but I'm referring to schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, BPD, general dissociation etc. Many have learning disabilities and have suffered horrific abuse due to their vulnerability) I guess it can be somewhat triggering for me, but that last bit of advice was what I needed for now. So thank you.
I’m glad you feel a little bit better. Honestly, if I would really give my two cents on this,
what we all really need to do is support one another in recovery and even in our normal everyday lives. Let’s all be gracious and kind with our words and actions. Be slow to anger and analyze things before we speak or act. Don’t let negative emotions control our rationale.
I know, it’s easy to say these things, but if you think about it, if we just try to at least practice these things, there’d be a lot less broken hearts and broken souls. Words can cut deeper into a human soul than any other double edged weapon.
I admire you. I really do. I’m not saying this to patronize you or anything, and I would prefer if I can say this to your face. You are a wonderful, brave, young person. You have so much more to accomplish in your life, and what better way to start than to help others who have suffered from mental/psychological illnesses just like you.
Keep pushing through, alright? Hold on to the hope that we can win these internal battles. And keep supporting others. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask fro help if you need any. We’re not supposed to walk through life alone, neither are we required to stay perfect and strong for others all the time.
I’m proud of you.
aish-de-la-lune asked: This isn't anon, but I feel I need to let it out somewhere anyway. I have this huge sorrow in the pit of my stomach when I think of the patients I work with. All I can think about is the things they've been through and the way they might feel and it makes me so sad that I can't change things for them. I wish, so so much, that I had the power to take away that little bit of pain. Instead, I think I just transfer it into my own heart. And then I don't know how to release it.
I wasn’t planning publishing the confessions with replies, but I felt like I needed to say something about this.
It’s hard, working in a place where you can see people come in and get treated for the monsters that live inside them, knowing that medication and counselling can only do so much. You start getting attached to them, because that’s what you do, you care for them - you try to give them the help they need. It’s like a unspoken and unwritten part of your job description.
And then sometimes one or two of them snaps and suddenly you can’t help them anymore. And you feel like you failed to save them.
But like what a good friend and I have talked about a few times, you can’t save everyone. You can’t help them if they’re losing the fight against their own selves. We’re not gods.
That’s the sad reality of life. But I’m proud of you. Because despite being burdened with this you still push though. We can still try to help them, if not save them. Stay strong, darling.
Anonymous asked: I feel like the future is a little overwhelming. I want to stop reaching out to my counselling and psychiatry support as often as I do, but with life challenges, mental health challenges etc. I fear I'm not strong enough (or willing enough) to do this on my own, though I know I should start branching out and taking more steps on my own. I'm afraid.
We all struggle with either of these two things: being stuck in the past, or being scared and overwhelmed by what the future holds.
I say we all take one day at a time. Rest assured tomorrow will worry about itself.
It’s easy to say, ‘Don’t be scared,’ or ‘Stay strong’ to people, but really, it’s hard to digest those words fully. It’s hard to know what to do when life throws a big ball of stress on you.
But take it slow, you’ll figure it out eventually.
And remember that this is just a journey to something better. It always gets better. Don’t think it never does.
Anonymous asked: Sometimes I feel like I'm no one: faceless, nameless, without interests or meaning, invisible. I feel like I go through life making no positive change on the things and people I encounter. But even worse is feeling my impact on people - I can never see when I have helped or made someone's life better. I'm convinced no one will ever want to really stay in my life because all I can see is what's wrong with me.
Acceptance. That’s a basic human want. We all want to feel loved and appreciated.
Darling, I believe you matter. You have interests, you have things you want to do - but you’re putting yourself down because all these negative thoughts rush in your head.
There are people who are interested in being your friend and you have to try and put yourself out there. It’s scary, if you think about it, but really, life is about taking risks.
You will make an impact on people’s lives when you’ve accepted yourself and just go out there and try to see what life has to offer.
We see our faults and we magnify them 100%, but really, everyone has them. Everyone has flaws.
We all need to learn to love ourselves despite all of that.
Anonymous asked: hi! just to day have a lovely day! thanks for all you do! keep smiling xox
Aw, thank you so much anon!
I think this calls for a big…..
Sending our love to all of you! <3
Thank you for putting so much time and effort into answering me. Your answer really made me tear up. I think I’m going to take some time to just think about everything you said and then I’ll answer you with a little more. Is that ok? I know you’re probably really busy with other questions and everything. Thank you again. I really really appreciate it. <3 - gallopingtowardfreedom
No problem darling. I’m not busy with any other questions, to be honest. You’re the only one sending in asks right now, so it’s no worry at all.
(P.S. I accidentally published this on my personal blog, so I reposted it here. Sorry about that :P)
Anonymous asked: I am so depressed. Living alone in a new city for the first time, struggling with my ED recovery/old behaviors. people are expecting so much from me and i feel like i am going to fail every single person with all the pressure. Like i can't have even a moment to breathe, because i really can't. I rushed into finding a job which i start tomorrow, and i feel really depressed and a little suicidal tonight and i just don't know what to do anymore, like if life gives me a chance i have to be perfect.
first off, I want you to know that you are brave. With your situation and coming out here and saying that you are struggling, it shows that somehow, you do want to get better.
It’s true, people can sometimes expect so much from us. But really, if you think about it, you have to do things not just for them, but also for yourself. You have to try to get past these things because you want to get better. You want to live your life. You want to be free from the burden of worries, depression, guilt, and eating disorders.
I want you to listen to me, and listen carefully.
You. Don’t. Have. To. Be. Perfect. For. Any. Single. Person.
You have to do things because you want to, not because someone else is forcing you to do so. If you think getting a job will be very beneficial for your life, then go for it. You’re scared? That’s normal. Heck, even I get scared with just the simple task of riding the bus alone and going somewhere.
You have to think about things in a different perspective. If you let yourself be overcome by worries and anxiety, you’ll lose your focus.
You have to decide to step up and not go back to your past ED habits because you know they’re destroying you.
I don’t think you deserve to live like that. I really don’t. And you have to believe that too.
Close your eyes and empty your mind of all the worries. If it will even help, and if you want, say a prayer. Write about what you’re feeling. Call someone, a friend, a family member even. A cousin. Someone next door. And online friend. Anyone you trust that you can vent out to.
Sometimes we all need someone to be there for us. And I think you need one right now.
You can do this, darling. It’ll be fine. Hold on.
we can talk there privately. I’ll reply as soon as I can.
austeregoddess asked: My friends are slipping away and I can't pull them back. They never want to talk to me anymore and they never listen to anything I say. I get angry at them; I can't do anything expect just keep saying the same things over and over. But they never believe any of it, and it's extremely aggravating to me. I don't know what to do anymore.
First and foremost, friends are supposed to look after each other. Can I say if they’re true friends? No, because I don’t know them like you do.
Are they good friends? I’m not sure. Like I said, you guys are supposed to look after each other, like what good friends do. Reassess your friendships; were they made out of common interests and goals or just the occasional ‘fair weather friendship’? Did you offend them in anyway or vice versa? Maybe something broke the relationship.
If they don’t want to be friends with you anymore, I suggest you just try to let it go. Besides, its better to have a few true, good friends than tons of fair weather ones. Build friendships, but choose carefully who you stick with. Birds with the same feathers flock together, so don’t let yourself be pulled down because the people you thought were in good terms with you don’t want you around anymore.
You’ll find friends who’ll stick with you until the end, so don’t feel so alone, darling. <3