How can I let this go? I'm always constantly worrying about my friend and her social life? She says that she has no friends, so I try to help her. I'm always making her to social events, talk to more people, and arrange situations where she can meet new people. I can't help worrying about it and doing this for her. It's making me very stressed out because all I think about. I really want to let it go because I feel like I'm obsessed.
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make the horse drink." You cannot save her. You cannot cure her or solve her problems. I know that’s really hard to hear considering you care so much, but it’s the hard truth. You are no god that can snap your fingers and make the world right for her.
You’ve done all you can. Keep inviting her out, keep being her friend, but stop working yourself so hard over this. The only one who can help her is her. She’ll have to learn that on her own, in her own time. Once the horse is thirsty enough, it’ll dip it’s head and drink. Sometimes the horse gets reeeally dehydrated first, if you understand the metaphor.
You need to start worrying about yourself first. Start talking to other people, perhaps a counsellor if you feel like it. Pushing yourself so much to complete the impossible only adds unnecessary stress to yourself, which makes it harder for everyone. Start getting back to the things that make YOU happy. Decompress. Maybe cut out the amount of exchanges you have with this person until you are in a better place to handle it.
It does sound like you’re thinking too much about it and it’s having a strain on you, and that’s not healthy. You’re a good friend for caring and wanting to help her, but that shouldn’t take a toll on you and there are ways of supporting her without making sacrifices on your health.
Do you feel like she’s making an effort to make friends? Does she want to have more friends? If the answer to either of these questions is a no, then honestly there’s only so much you can do, and it’s not going to be productive or effective trying to introduce her to people.
If she is, though, then maybe you can suggest that she joins some clubs or activities, whether in school or out of school? That way, she can meet people with similar interests as her as well as expand her social circle. For example, if she’s passionate about animals, she can volunteer at an animal shelter. Or if she likes reading, maybe a book club in school. That way, there’ll be regular meetings and you wouldn’t have to keep thinking of ways to help her meet more people.
She’s not your responsibility, love. You don’t need to and you shouldn’t be taking care of her all the time. The best you can do as a friend is be her friend, just be there for her when she wants to talk, and such, but not to help her with her entire life. But you have to stop yourself from trying to help her with everything, because that’s not your job. Does that make sense? Take care, love. All the best.