— Morrigan, Dragon Age: Origins
I need to be alone sometimes (actually quite often) or I get really grumpy and anxious. Problem is that although my boyfriend knows this (and he knows I have mental health issues and especially anxiety problems) he doesn't want to be alone, he just wants to be with me. I feel really guilty and selfish when sometimes I have to ask him to leave cause I NEED to be alone. This situation is making me mad at myself cause I don't want to be this way and my anxiety levels are rising. Any advice? ;__;
Well, I think your boyfriend is going to have to compromise with you. Especially if it affects your health. He should allow you time to yourself, and he should allow even himself time for himself. Having time alone can be very beneficial and I think everyone needs a little bit of “me” time in their days.
It’s not your fault you feel this way, so don’t get mad. If he cares about you and your health, he’ll understand it’s necessary for you to have time to recoup and focus on yourself. If he guilts you over it, he’s not being very nice or respectful to you. He has to learn to spend some time on his own and to respect you when you do the same. That’s really all that can be done.
- If I say “no” to someone and they get angry, this does not mean I should have said “yes.”
- Saying “no” does not make me selfish.
- Although I want to please the people I care about, I do not have to please them all the time.
- It is okay to want or need something from someone else.
- My wants and needs are just as important as those of anyone else.
- I have the right to assert myself, even if I may inconvenience others.
Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you were the one who carried you through the heartache. You are the one who sits with the cold body on the shower floor, and picks it up. You are the one who feeds it, who clothes it, who tucks it into bed, and you should be proud of that. Having the strength to take care of yourself when everyone around you is trying to bleed you dry, that is the strongest thing in the universe.
I absolutely needed to read that.
bodies require food
bodies require rest
bodies require attention
bodies require patience
people have to understand that anne frank’s diary was not actually published as it was originally written - a family friend, miep gies, retrieved the diary and some of her personal papers after the war and gave them to her father, otto frank. he typed it up into a manuscript and edited out any parts that he felt were too personal - so, most of her writing about her sexuality, but also things like unkind words about her mother and her sister.
and, like, obviously that makes sense, to an extent, because this was the work of a grieving father trying to commemorate his murdered daughter, and airing out her personal musings on masturbation alongside her more serious writing on her day-to-day struggles wouldn’t have been, i think, the most respectful tribute.
but, personal considerations notwithstanding, it really does amount to censorship of writing on female sexuality, and it’s very telling that the critical edition of the book (which includes anne’s writing about her sexual development and her own anatomy) has literally been banned in schools for being “pornographic.”
anne frank as a mythical figure in our culture is so, so far removed from her actual identity, and a good deal of this… mischaracterization, we’ll call it, stems from that initial omission of her very most personal writing.
anyway all that to say i think that it would be a very, very good thing for anne frank’s diary to be taught as a queer text, and i think that the passages in her diary about her attraction to her female friends do a lot to bolster the idea that queer sexuality is normal and that questioning your sexuality is normal, but any discussion of all of this has to be a lot more nuanced than simply “ANNE FRANK WAS BI”